Quit rolling your eyes at me, you stupid bitch

A letter to my pharmacist about how I really feel about her microaggressions when dropping off my first hormone replacement therapy (HRT) prescription.

Dear Whatever the Fuck Your Name Is:

You are the girl behind the counter who rolled your eyes when I dropped off my prescription for estrogen and an anti-androgen yesterday. It was the first time I’d done that; my first prescription for those.

I chose to go to the small independent pharmacy where you apparently work instead of a larger chain, because I was a bit worried there would be a scene when I tried to fill that prescription. I guess I was right to worry.

People in this stupid town always act like they’ve never heard the word transgender. You couldn’t have been more than 25 years old. I know that you know transgender people exist. I’m not surprised when half the old people around act like I’m the devil in girl shorts (the other half are quite nice), but there is no way any person your age, who grew up in this community and was educated in this society, is that ignorant.

You rolled your eyes again after your co-workers took over with my prescription. They were both middle-aged. They went from being polite to being super polite after my experience with you. Bless them both.

You rolled your eyes a third time when I bought a weekly pill planner. Was it because it was the XL size? That was the only one with just AM/PM compartments, which are all I need. I figured that even though it’s way too big for my little hormone pills and tiny half tablet of cholesterol medication twice a week, at least it’s size means I’ll be more likely to see it and be reminded.

I don’t know what kind of stupid assumptions are rolling around in your head about me, or if you were just born with a nasty eye-rolling habit.

I guess if it’s the latter, I shouldn’t be so hostile towards you because of something you didn’t ask for. At least I was nice and polite in person instead of telling you how I really felt.

So thanks for teaching me a little lesson about my own prejudice.

But also, fuck you, because you turned what could have been a happy moment into yet another experience with microaggression.

Sincerely,

Kaylin

Trans girl writing for laughs, love, and therapy.